Given the typical lifestyle of the global citizen (we are all the same, irrespective of our country, race or language) and its stress content (which is built-in by default today), can we imagine even one day of life without stress ? Whether you are driving (bunched up muscles) or talking on the phone (the mind ticking with the list of pending chores and how much you will manage to complete today) or even playing with your child (this too has a time limit, even on a sunday, as 'sleep' needs to be incorporated into the sunday schedule, and wait a moment...the sleep content of the day also has a time-limit !) Phew ! Do you realise how much stress we are adding to our already overflowing basket ?
So, assuming that the inflow of stress is not going to reduce, lets deal with the outflow....so that the basket always has enough space and you never allow it to reach tipping point (read breakdown levels in whatever form). Is there a formula for ongoing stress release ? Of course, there are many....you will hear of walking, exercise, yoga, meditation and so on. However the best solution I have found, which can be used every day without allotting any special time to it, is HUMOUR !
No, I do not mean join a laughing club which suggests forced laughter. I am suggesting humour motivated smiles, giggles, grins and laughs. There is a lighter side to everything. If you have to deal with a problem, you have to deal with it. There is a less stressful way to do that.....walk that path. Have you ever tried diffusing a fight (when it reaches the peak of intensity and emotions are charged) with a dash of humour ? Have you witnessed the immediate fall and vanishing of stress levels ?
Try it with your kids today. At every age. Be it a mildly sarcastic statement about a situation, be it a facial expression, make humour your mantra and serious conversation the exception. Be the always grinning, always light-hearted always 'cool' parent. Loosen up guys ! Why add the spondylosis, cervicals, slip discs, migranes to your already crammed life ? Just take it easy. The problems will still come and go.............change your method of dealing with it.
Children are the first to respond to this change of attitude. Have you read 'Fatherhood' by Bill Cosby ? Buy your copy today. This is one man who has sailed through life laughing and making others laugh. Its light, an easy-read and you will relate to every word.
If your 9-year-old son comes to you, a day after you have finished executing a detailed birthday party for him, one you have been planning for two months.........and says 'Mom, Can I have another party next saturday, just like the one we had yesterday, for the 30 boys who I did not call because we could not accomodate so many in the house at one time ?' Er.....Adjust your expression....quickly...I can see it even as you read.......lighten up.......what could you say ? ' Well of course Adnan, its just that I'm moving to Bolognesia tomorrow'.
Two possible questions from him :
1. 'Moving to ...? Meaning you are not coming back ?'
2. 'Where is Bolognesia ?'.
Answers you can try :
1. 'Of course, I'll come back, as soon as you have finished with all your birthday parties for the year !'
2. ' Sweetie, its the land of Spaghetti Bolognaise, where children's birthday parties are prohibited by law.'
I can promise you, the next time he has his friends over and you say you want to sit in his room and 'play with them', he will say.....' Mom, I'm very tempted to move to Bolognesia. I hear, a new law is being introduced there..... !'
Two lessons -
1. You have instilled a sense of humour in him and laid the foundation for his dealing with problems more effectively and
2. Temper outbursts/wail-attacks diffused !
Try it guys, it works.
(In Part-2, we will deal with practical applications of 'Upbringing with humor' for children of different age groups.)
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