The Virtual world and child-aggression

Are we creating zero tolerance children?

Unstructured time for children

More outdoor play

Are you increasing or decreasing your child's EQ?

I feel very strongly about a parent's role in building a child's EQ. This is not a skill that can be learnt/developed through 'classes/tutoring'. This is a parent's responsibility and one of his/her main duties when s/he decides to bring a child into this world. This requires time, love and communication skills (parent-child communication skill should come naturally to a parent.....if it doesn't then the parent has to work hard to re-establish this channel).

As our world is becoming more materialistic and selfish (an inarguable fact), the child is suffering. We watch this as parents, yet what do we do about it? We are in a powerful position.....Let us do our bit.

A few articles featured in today's newspapers (Mumbai) are attached in blogs that follow (can't get attached to this one for some reason)......just the tip of the iceberg.

If you connect with the message, please do whatever is in your control to spread this message from time to time.....

We all feel for children......whether ours or. Who knows, these small efforts from our side could make a difference to the way some children are being raised?

Tomorrow....next week....very soon....!!!

That is the name of the country I was in for the last year and a half! Yes! Can you believe it? It has been exactly a year and a half since I have blogged? I find it hard to believe because I always had a clear intention to write in the following week.......and talk about a stretched week!

I am not alone in the land of procastination. There are millions like me. No, I was not lazy....like all of you, I was dreadfully busy, furiously occupied, juggling priorities. Blogging, one of the small activities I enjoy doing (AND VIEW IT AT AS A TIME OF LUXURY TO EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS) was always to be done 'when I am in a relaxed frame of mind'. Needless to say, I was never in a relaxed frame of mind.

Why am I sharing my woes with you?

- Simply because I have decided to address the issue. I have told myself that enough is enough.
I can most certainly spare an hour a week for an activity I thoroughly enjoy and most
importantly, I WILL DO IT.
- Also because, YOU, as a parent, are doing the same to yourself.

Wake up parents, especially mothers!!!

Should you give all of yourself, sacrifice your time, your hobbies, your luxuries for your child and family? Undoubtedly yes. I am a firm believer in the fact that your child and family come first. However, you come somewhere in the list..........don't you?

Do not forget yourself, Mamma. You need your outlet too. The routine can drown you in the sea with a lifejacket named, 'Tomorrow...next week....very soon...!' If you do not grab that lifejacket and let it take you to the shore, you will float in that sea forever.



Allot two hours every week TO YOURSELF. Without the guilt. Without the stress. Without the responsibility. You owe this to yourself. Pamper yourself, go to a Cafe Coffee Day...alone...read a book for two hours. Watch a movie. Watch the sea. Lose yourself in something you love doing. Your babies are going nowhere. You will return to them refreshed and a better mother.

Take a hold on your life again. Recharge your emotions. Recharge your self-esteem. Redefine your priorities from time to time. A very small thing when continuously postponed can become a huge issue. A very small thing, when ultimately done, can give immeasureable pleasure....


Read the 'FISH' series of books.

FOLLOW THE ROAD TO YOUR SIMPLE PLEASURES. GO FOR IT! I DID.

Upbringing with Humour, Humour in life - A critical lifeskill Part 2

Humour eases pain....we all know that, but do you know that it can have the same effect even on a 2-year old ? I first realised the power of humour when my two-year old daughter once fell down and hurt herself. I made an on-the-spot 'experimental' decision that day, to smile, clap hands as if it were a game and lift her with a swing ! I swung her around, laughing all the time. I must confess, that the first time I did that, I wasn't sure about how she would react. Neither was I sure if I was doing the correct thing, or just sending her confusing signals. I asked myself, if I had a better idea ? I could just go to her with a sympathetic 'ooohhhh, my baby', bundle her in my arms, fuss over her and acknowledge her pain. Not an incorrect reaction either, however I chose the former.

The first reaction from her was that of confusion. She looked at me (and my domestic helper who followed my cue) with an expression of 'one about to cry in 'pause' mode, reworking her reaction and finally a half-smile ! The whole 30-second act of clapping with gusto-swirling her around and cheering, made her think she had done something funny, so she joined us in the celebrations ! We had avoided a weepy scene ! It worked for almost a year, till she realised that it was time she took the lead in declaring the appropriate emotion for the occasion ! Needless to say, this modus operandi was used for minor issues, whereas in the more serious cases, the child's emotions were ratified through love and sympathy.

How do we add humor to the lives of 6-9 year olds ? Well, we do funny physical things...kick one another under a table, wink and say funny things to fool each other, parents engage in light conversation, exaggered expressions and not-so-serious arguments, all the while helping to instill a sense of humour in the child. Certain TV programs like 'Full House' , 'Zack and Cody', 'Mr. Bean', 'Laurel and Hardy/Charlie Chaplin (are they still aired ?)' and my all time favourite (of which I cannot find a dvd at any store today...if any of my readers have a lead, please send me an email. I will be grateful for life) ...The Cosby Show !

The 9-12 year-olds can handle caustic humour and its a good age to introduce them to subtle one liners with a raised eyebrow or a one-sided smile or a twinkle-in-the-eye for effect. As they advance in their 'education in the field of humour' they can be introduced to the poker faced brand. Here again, I would rate 'Hannah Montanna', 'Lizzie McGuire', and in the Hindi category, 'Sarabhai vs. Sarabhai' very high ! I would rate 'Just for laugh gags' on Pogo as another source of laughter for all age groups. They have something for everybody. I was fortunate to be raised on a diet of British humour (not that I had much choice, with only Doordarshan to watch during my childhood !) and once addicted to that brand, its difficult to appreciate most other brands ! I most certainly do not subscribe to the 'Laughter Challenge' brand...however that's a personal choice.

Include humor as part of your daily routine when referring to members of the family. 'Er...do you think, mom will emerge from the bathroom for tonight's dinner engagement or tomorrow's ?' 'So Dad's horizontal straight after lunch, what do you think are the chances he will go shopping with us ?' 'Dad's being grouchy..mamma's had a small fight with him, come lets go and tickle him and make him laugh...then we'll all play a game together'. 'Shwetank, are you preparing for a hurdle race in your room ? What are the rules ?' 'Pinch me, am I dreaming or is dad wearing his sneakers to go for a walk ?' 'Are your hair scared of me or is this your new look ? (spiked hair)' 'Disha you are looking so yummy I want to eat you up !(to a 3-year-old)'

Use humour when tempers are high..between spouses, parent and child, amongst children. Just when the siblings have murder written in their eyes and one has picked a chair to throw on the other, walk in with a smile and say into an imaginary microphone, '....and the first position of the WEIGHT-LIFTING championship goes to Sahil !' or '....and now the chair's in the air and the opponent Sanchit is eyeing the study-table....will he lift it or not, we will be back with you soon after the break .....' I'm guessing two sheepish sons will look at you and start giving you their points of view. The same evening have a mock fight with your husband in the presence of your children and pick up the chair in a second and tell him....'now you lift the bed....this is the way to have a real fight !'. Jump around with imaginary boxing gloves, as if ready for a match. Again, two grinning monkeys will look at you and the family can have a joint laugh ! Many lessons will be learnt here. You will also teach children that arguments are resolved through discussion and not violence.

Just today, while we were in an elevator on the way to a party (which we were already late for), the high strung husband and daughter duo decided to fight. Over an issue almost as serious as global warming......'he touched me' ........ 'she touched me first.' (Er...we are talking about a 44- year-old and a 12-year-old). Next, the daughter ruffled my hair (painfully set in place fifteen minutes prior and rebrushed in the car before getting off) to show me how she had been 'touched'. Then the lord and master of the family ruffled what was left of my hair, to tell me how he had 'been touched first' ! All this in flaming seriousness and risen voices, both staring at each other with war written in their eyes !

I stood in the middle like a statue - looked from left to right with my eyeballs rolling, then stared at myself into the mirror in front of me, in mock shock ! Just my facial expression did it......there were peals of laughter all around, as mamma was the joker, with hair as if, straight out of bed ! The elevator door opened and we were outside our hosts' apartment !

How I love these moments ! Do you feel the warmth I feel ?.....Dont fool yourself. You know exactly where I am coming from.